Theresa Malone’s very first
word was NO
Said with a rage she would frequently show
18 months old she’d
scowl from her seat
Slamming her hand down
on food she won't eat
Theresa Malone was a
furnace of rage
And this is the story
of how all of that changed
In school age 6
Theresa caused up roar
When Mr.Cage and Theresa
in class went to war
Theresa disliked that
he smelt of stale smoke
So when he would talk
she’d clutch at her throat
Mr.Cage would then
keep her in during break
So Theresa watched her friends playing out by the gate
Mr Cage in class lost
his temper again
As Theresa declared
his nose looked like a plane
He slammed down his
pens and made several kids cry
As Theresa pointed out
a jet passing by
Theresa he shouted, you will be quiet as
a mouse
Mr Cage, she screamed I’m going to burn down
your house
This was the way for
the angry young girl
Who saw red fringes
lining the edge of her world
Door slams,
detonations and temper eruptions
Inside or outside
she was a constant disruption
But at home Theresa
was silent and scared
Her father was the
ogre who ruled coldly there
Theresa’s mother died
when Theresa was 7
The police softly said she’d gone up to heaven
They tried to hide the unpleasant truth
Theresa’s mother another case of “domestic abuse”
But Theresa knew as
her father was taken away
That she’d lost both
her parents in one bitter day
Her father was tried
and then sentenced to jail
His serious stern temper
turning childishly pale
And Theresa was sent to an
aunt out of town
Where it was hoped she
would thrive and maybe calm down
Her aunt fed her
apples and plenty of cake
But Theresa still shouted
and threw food from her plate
For months her aunt
tried every tactic she knew
But nothing would work
or ever get through
And when Theresa
smashed a window with an old china plate
Her aunt felt
taking her in may be a mistake
Theresa, my love, I can’t cope with all this
And she dropped to her
knees and hoped for a kiss
Theresa could see the
pain that she’d created
But the anger in her heart
could not be abated
And she stormed from
her aunt there on her knees
Out to the garden and
the flowers and bees
And she sat at the end
over looking the fields
Trying to find the
world she’d somehow concealed
She sat hunched with
her knees to her chest
When she first saw the
man lying at rest
He was just a mound of
dirt and leaves and grass
But seeing him there
made her gasp and then laugh
For though he was just
dirt, grass and leaves
She could see his head
and his arms and his knees
A man lying there with
his arms behind his head
A man lying peaceful
as though comfy in bed
The man in the ground
Theresa saw laying there
The man in the ground
with flowers for hair
He was just soil nothing
more, just mound on the lawn
But Theresa felt
certain a friendship had born
I’m angry she hissed and then started to cry
I’m angry so often and I just don’t know why
She wept by the man
and the man lay un-moving
But him lying and
listening was simple and soothing
So Theresa she wept
and spoke of her mum and her dad
And tranquillity
swift flowed and submerged all the bad
She returned inside
and found her aunt in her bed
Theresa opened the
door and stood and soft said
I’m sorry Aunt Josie, I’ll be better I hope
And Aunt Josie held
her so perfectly tight, warm and close
They went to the
kitchen and made pastry together
And Aunt Josie had
hopes that things may get better
From then Theresa
would go to the garden each day
She’d fret and she’d speak
her bad thoughts away
She’d let them all
spill to the man in the ground
Who took them to the fires that lay deep and down
She’d go inside
calmer, heart light and temper cool
And Josie would cook while they talked about school
A storm tore the night
when Theresa was 9
It ripped branches
from trees and laundry from lines
It shattered windows
in town and broke the church spire
And it tore down
reception from telegraph wires
Aunt Josie came to
Theresa’s as the sky turned deep red
But found that Theresa
was not in her bed
She tore through the
house calling her name
Afraid of burglars, kidnappers
and menace unnamed
She saw the back door
was open to the night
And snatched at a
torch to throw a weak light
She raced down the
path towards the fields and the farm
Praying her niece was please safe from harm
She found Theresa sat
with an umbrella held tight
Singing to the garden
in the dark of the night
Josie stood motionless
and Theresa stroked the grass
As the lightning shock
crackled and thunder crashed past
I’ll keep you dry Theresa said to the ground
And laughed as the
lightning flashed all around
What were you doing? Josie asked her within
As the paper quick
crackled so the flames could begin
The man in the ground was washing away
Theresa replied, and
that’s all she would say
So Josie made cocoa
and they sat there together
The flames flickering
high slow calming the weather
Theresa held her anger
within now as she grew
The man in the ground
the only one who now knew
She would hold her
fists as she was taunted in class
About her mother and father
and violence of the past
She would come home
with tears and rush to the yard
Where she knew she
could say all that was hard
Christmas Day, birthday or Halloween night
Theresa told the man everything
that wasn’t right
Josie would watch
and accept as a fact
That Theresa felt
better after she’d been and done that
Theresa even wrote a
letter when she was turning 13
To Mr Cage apologising
for being so childishly mean
When Theresa was 16
Josie had news
That hurt like a bee
sting on top of a bruise
Her father was being
released in a weeks time
The courts deciding
he’d been punished fow for his crime
He wanted to see her
but it was entirley her choice
Did she want to see
him or listen to his voice?
Theresa looked at her
Aunt and blinked her tears back
As the world spun in backward
and the sky turned to black
I need to speak to my friend was Theresa’s reply
And she went to the
garden and sat under the sky
She told the man in
the ground her father was coming
Then sat rocking quietly
as the bees started humming
Theresa dug memories
from deep in her mind
That there were few remaining she was saddened to find
Her mother crying and
screaming No More
As her father ripped
his rage and kicked at the floor
Her mother un-moving as
he smashed at the walls
And Theresa age 6 and
her emergency call
Now 10 years later he walked from his cell
Started walking slow towards her with feelings to tell
He wanted his
daughter, he wanted to meet
Wanted to build a
bridge to her heart under his feet
The man in the ground
just lay under the sun
And Theresa told her
aunt that her father could come
And then there he was
with his eyes to the path
At her front door and
Theresa wanted to laugh
Here was the man who’d
watched her life begin
Asking and crying for
her to let him come in
I’m so sorry he said and wrung hard at his hands
Please can I try to make you understand?
Theresa stood alone
but felt something shift
Heard soil break apart
and grass and dirt lift
Behind her she knew
the man was stood there
One hand on her
shoulder to show that he cared
The man in the ground
had her back now she knew
So she said to her
father what she felt was true
Dad, she said and he started to weep
As for the first time
years he heard her voice speak
I forgive you she said and gave him one kiss
But that’s all I have, that’s all that there
is
She shut the door and
saw him through the glass
As he slow retreated
back into her past
The man in the ground
was laying at peace
But she saw dirt on
the carpet down by her feet
The man in the ground
lay under the sky
With daisies growing
close to his left eye
Theresa, the girl, who
was no longer a child
Saw wind move the
grass so it appeared that he smiled
Theresa went to study
and Aunt Josie cried
As her heart filled
with hope and then filled with pride
Theresa studied hard
and came home each term
And laughed and
related all that she’d learnt
Then she’d go to the
garden and give to the man
Small samples of soil
she’d saved in a can
Dirt from her
university and sand from the shore
Dirt from a pub that
she liked and then more
Spoonfuls of soil from
places she’d been
She scattered on the
man and the grass wet and green
And the man lay at
rest with his arms behind his head
Just like a man lazing
on Sunday in bed
Theresa finished
university and found her feet keen
To go seeking vistas
and sights yet unseen
She explained to Aunt
Josie that it was time to travel
To see what was out
there and the future unravel
She flew to Morocco
and Vietnam and Laos
Sending back postcards
of where she was now
She travelled through
Europe and Russia as well
Mailing back promises
of stories to tell
She lived there in
London and Hamburg and Spain
And criss-crossed the continent
cheaply by train
She came back before
Christmas in her 23rd year
And Aunt Josie opened
the door with excitement and cheer
They talked and they
sipped as Theresa told tales
Of eating bugs, horse
meat, intestines and snails
She showed Josie a
tattoo she’d gotten in Mumbai
The date her mum was
born and the date that she’d died
And then she told Aunt
Josie the thing she had to say
Aunt Josie, I don’t know if you know this….I’m
gay
Aunt Josie smiled and
said that she knew
But I didn’t want to say anything, it was all up to
you
Josie sat happy and so
very proud of this girl
Who’d climbed such a
mountain to be here in this world
Theresa the girl with
the wild furious rages
Was now a young woman
writing her pages
Theresa then sat with
the man in the ground
Told him of her
journeys to the humming bee sound
She pulled a tobacco
tin from out of her clothes
Opened it and inhaled
happily through her nose
This is the world, I’ve bought it to you
A spoonful of soil
from every country she’d been through
Mud from Siem Reap
near Ankor Watt
Soil from Italy where
she’d briefly stopped
A scoop of America and
a dash of southern Spain
A pinch of Germany
near where she caught a train
A little bit of London
and a wee dash of Wales
And a wet piece of
Scotland dug up in a gale
Sand from the Red Centre
near Uluru
All safely transported and bought back for you
A little of Russia and
a touch of Nepal
She kissed each offering and watched the dirt fall
And this, she told him is from the
seas I have seen
The oceans and rivers of the places I’ve been
The man in the ground
lay with arms behind his head
As any man who was
lazing on Sunday in bed
The dirt scattered
softly and water trickled slow
Little pieces of the
places that he could not go
Then Theresa lay with
him and she let herself doze
And woke with a flower
on top of her clothes
Aunt Josie was helping
at a sausage sizzle one day
When the end of her
life swift had its way
A stroke seized her
mind and sent her to sleep
And she woke uncertain and
unable to speak
Theresa rushed to her
bed and held her good hand
Telling Josie she loved
her hoping she’d understand
Aunt Josie smiled weakly
and blinked one tired eye
Amazed that time had
so swift passed her by
Theresa hugged her and
asked her please just to stay
And in the warmth of
that moment Josie passed away
Theresa wept then in that bright
hospital room
Feeling her time with Aunt Josie had gone far to soon
One week later
with her aunts’ final remains
Theresa sat in the
garden with the man once again
This is my Aunty; she’s left the house to me,
This is where my heart is and where I will be
And she scattered
the ashes right next to the man
Hoping he would keep
Josie safe and warm in his hands
Theresa found love in
buying vintage clothes
As she sneezed from
the dust that tickled her nose
A tissue was handed
from a woman named Jane
Who fell onto her
heart like the softest of rain
Theresa and Jane soon
shared life together
And though they
couldn’t marry they promised forever
They laughed,
worked, adopted and grew
Went on marches for injustice and equality too
They sat sipping wine
on calm Sunday nights
While the kids they’d
given homes lay lit by nightlights
Theresa lived a life
shared with tears and with laughs
And visits down the
garden to the man in the grass
Jane and Theresa,
Theresa and Jane
Became grandparents
three times and then once again
The fourth was a frowning girl named Collette
Who was bitterly angry
and savagely direct
Her first word was No and the next Go Away
Theresa told the man
laughing one cool winters day
She was older now with
her hair wispy thin
But she had the same
sparkle and the same happy grin
She laughed with the
man at Collette’s latest wrath
Throwing mud at the
clothes that had all just been washed
She did it because she was wearing odd socks
Pelted the sheets with mud and dirty old rocks
And as she laughed
with the man Theresa felt strange
Like something in her
chest had fast rearranged
Oh she said as her breathing grew still
And she sat back in
her chair before she could spill
She looked back at the
house where Jane gently waved
Where
grandchildren were laughing at the games that they played
Am I dying? she asked of the man in the ground
But her words were
impossible to bring into a sound
Her eyesight grew
darker as the bees hummed close by
And Jane saw Theresa
sleep instead of seeing her die
It was half hour later
when Jane bought her a wine
That she found our Theresa had run out of time
But in that hour
something had quietly stirred
And something
impossible impossibly occurred
Theresa was sat in her
chair calm at peace
Looking rested and loved
not cold and deceased
In reds, blues and yellows laid with such care
Hundreds of flowers
had been woven into her hair
Jane sought permission
and it was allowed
To inter Theresa right
there in the ground
Beside the man only
Theresa could see
Under the warmth of
the sun and the hum of the bee
Jane laid her to rest
with joy at their life
My beloved, my best friend, my lover and wife
Then a band played old
love songs and cakes were devoured
The sun sparkled
through crystals and rainbows were flowered
Jane wept long and
often but she laughed much as well
And when anyone asked
she had stories to tell
Her children and grand
children held her love dear
That even now widowed
Jane was glad to be here
And a week later
Collette was visiting filled with ire
Her parents tugging
their hair at the girl there on fire
Collette knocked over
the table and shouted out NO
And stormed outside where
her Grandmother would go
Collette sat near
where Gran T had been lain
And shouted in
frustration and fury again
Collette was 5 and
possessed of such aggression
That instead of soft
toys rage was her possession
But there in the
garden Collette found she could see
Her grandmother, Aunt Josie - and he
A man lying resting
with his arms under his head
Just like a man lazing
on Sunday in bed
Her grandmother
Theresa placed one hand to her lips
Then winked at
Collette and blew her a kiss
The man smiled broadly
and Collette felt safe from harm
And knew that speaking would help her feel calm
So she stumbled and
uttered her words in a rush
As Theresa nodded and
then said to her Hush
Any time you are raging or torn up inside
Come visit us here with nothing to hide
Send your fury down into the lava below
Let it warm up the world and help the trees
grow
We are here my love, any time you need speak
At the end of the garden, just come here and
seek
And at the end of
the garden outside of the home
Where Jane still lives
warmly, well loved but alone
Theresa, Aunt Josie and the Man in the Ground
Hear the world
ageing and every soft sound
Collette comes to
them often and her rage slips away
And they lay
there together at peace at the ebb of the day
